I often get asked what the benefits of tantric massage are for men are, so I thought I’d put my views into a blog for you.
I have 8+years of tantric massage experience (www.maletantricmassage.co.uk), and close to 20 years of (spiritual) energy-work experience (as of Feb. 2016). I obviously cannot speak for all tantric masseurs; some practitioners might work differently, or base their work on (at least partly) different philosophies/ teachings.
What is Tantric Massage & what does it entail?
Tantric massage is a whole body sensual massage, where ‘all’ parts of a man’s body are massaged (i.e. including the lingam (penis), and if offered and desired, the prostate as well). What differentiates an erotic massage from a tantric massage, is the inclusion of energetic-spiritual practices/ techniques. The massagee is not just seen humanistically, but rather as a divine eternal soul, in a temporary physical body. Tantric massages aims to help the massagee to rediscover, experience, live his divine nature. There is a transpersonal side to all tantric work, but whereas in tantric sex with a partner one aims to experience one another transpersonally, with tantric bodywork there can be some transpersonal connection with the masseur, but most importantly one tries to help the massagee to transpersonally connect with the individualized divine spark inside, that is ‘He’. Pleasure is appreciated and welcomed, but not the sole objective. Erotic stimulation is not utilized solely for sexual gratification, but rather to trigger the flow of sexual/ erotic energies. Sexual energies are understood to be very powerful, they can help invigorate ones being, but also be creative, and or curative. Tantric massage techniques often aim to increase the level of sexual excitement/ energy, by slowly going more and more into erogenous zones. The client is aroused, but then relaxes again as a less erogenous body part is massaged, etc.. Ultimately and ideally during the lingam massage the client is brought close to climax, but then the energy is spread out into the rest of the body. He is brought close again, but again the masseur stops, just shy of the point of no return. The intention is to bring the arousal plateau higher and higher, to ultimately create a more powerful and satisfying orgasm.
Tantric massage is by its nature naturist. I, as the therapist, usually offer to be naked as well, but do not insist on it. Furthermore I allow to be touched. Especially during times of heightened arousal clients seem to appreciate this. Sure, they might want to touch me, as they might be sexually attracted to me, but it feels like there is another element to it too. Our divine nature is naturally giving. During tantric massage, and especially tantrically heightened arousal, clients are more connected to their divine core. They naturally want to ‘give back’ some of the pleasure, and energy they receive. By touching me they ‘close the circle’. Obviously I do not insist on being touched though, or feel disappointed if not touched – it is not essential, and, after all, the treatment is all about the massagee, not the masseur! (N.B.: Not all therapists are comfortable offering their services in the nude, or being touched. If a therapist does not advertise such practices overtly, do respect potential boundaries, and simply ask before e.g. touching.)
Benefits of Tantric Massage
Physical benefits of Tantric Massage– since most tantric massages are whole body massages, general whole body massage benefits apply. Through massage of muscles, muscles are helped to relax. Relaxation alone will likely lead to an increase of blood and lymph flow in such tissues. On top of this venous blood flow, towards the heart, is supported with long distal to proximal strokes up the extremities. Depending on the therapist and his/ her training the massage might include trigger point work (to increase the relaxation effect of tight muscles), stretching, joint mobilizations et.al. Relaxation through massage (or other relaxation techniques) usually goes hand in hand with de-stressing effects – which can have positive effects on digestion, immunity and other essential body functions.
Specific to tantric/ erotic massage there is sexual stimulation as well. Sexual stimulation leads to release of endorphins (happiness hormones, and pain suppressing), as well as increased production of testosterone (supporting anabolic processes in the male). (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2239621/Researchers-test-mens-testosterone-levels-rise-arousal--visiting-sex-club.html )
There is not much I could find about specific scientifically proven health benefits of prostate massage. There is anecdotal evidence that it helps with sexual performance, and as such supposedly it is practiced by Asian men (i.e. they get their partners to massage their prostate). Supposedly prostate cancer rates are lower in Asia, which could obviously be down to other reasons too though, such as diet. Furthermore there is speculation that regular prostate massage might stave off BPH (benign prostate hyperplasia). ( http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/the-benefits-of-prostate-massages-20150914-gjmla6.html). Indirectly regular ejaculation, which will cause a depletion of prostatic seminal fluid as well, seems to have proven health benefits, and there is studies showing that ejaculating more than on average 4.6 times per week, can help ward off prostate cancer, i.e. rates of prostate cancer in such males is 33% lower. (http://www.harvardprostateknowledge.org/does-frequent-ejaculation-help-ward-off-prostate-cancer). Whereas internal prostate massage can improve the orgasmic experience for many men, for some it does not do anything palpable, and for other yet it is uncomfortable and will diminish their sexual enjoyment. Supposedly prostate massage is not only effective internally though, but also externally; i.e. through massage of the perineum, which is usually included with most tantric massages. Obviously, unless one has a willing prostate massaging partner, most men won’t have the time or funds to afford 4+tantric massages per week. Many clients report especially powerful orgasms with tantric massage, but even with such, one will best learn to self-massage ones prostate, if one is after the possible prostate cancer banishing effects (there is prostate massage devices, external and internal , but one can also e.g. sit on a tennis ball, pressing on the perineum)
On a side note, as most tantric massage is purely manual, it can be seen as a very safe way of receiving erotic/ sexual gratification.
Emotional, Mental, Spiritual benefits of Tantric Massage– Tantric massage can have several potential effects on ones emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing. On a basic level there is, like with any massage, the comforting quality of human touch. Furthermore if one books a tantric massage, there is usually a clear cut energy exchange. I.e. the massagee receives massage, and energy work, and then pays the masseur. Liberating might be too strong a word, but at least theoretically a client does not have to think/ worry about impressing his masseur in any way. As long as the masseurs gets his/ her fee, and the client arrives clean (most masseurs will offer for clients to use their shower facilities too, if they e.g. come straight from the office) – a client does not have to worry about what shape he is in, what his job is, how endowed he is, how long he might ‘last’ upon sexual stimulation, or if he might have problems getting or maintaining an erection. All this can take pressure out of an erotic encounter! One might also argue that being sexually stimulated in a professional, and non-judgmental set up could support overcoming feelings of sexual insecurity, shame, or guilt.
A tantric masseur will, as mentioned before, try to ‘see’ the divine in their clients. The divine inside of all of us, is endlessly loving, wise, beautiful, capable etc. Not all clients might believe themselves to be individualized divine Spirit, they might not feel anything special because a therapist tries to see, feel etc. them as such – but being seen, treated as such might still have some positive (even just knock-on) effects to a client’s self-confidence, and feelings of self-worth. Spiritually one says that energy follows thought, i.e. whatever we give our attention to can be strengthened. If one concentrates on the loving, worthy, and capable inside, one would therefore help strengthen that side of a client’s being!
Besides helping the client heal, and invigorate his being by spreading sexual energy throughout his body (by using massage strokes and intent, to spread the sexual energy, generated in the genitals, into the rest of the client’s body), with longer tantric massage sessions, I usually include general energy healing work as well. E.g. I give Spiritual Healing/ Reiki to my client’s chakras, to help them balance and clear them of accumulated stress, fear, frustration etc. energies. On one hand this can help a client relax even further (and many clients do note that they relax very deeply with tantric massage), but it could also be seen as enabling stronger sexual energy flow, throughout a client’s being, once it comes to the lingam, and prostate massage elements of tantric massage. Working as a healer I also ‘create’ as safe space. I.e. I create a space where energies released (such as stresses, fears, anxieties, etc.) are taken up by spiritual energies, and taken away for safekeeping, rehabilitation etc. Even if clients do not necessarily believe that such really happens, or is possible, I do feel that it might be another reason why clients relax deeper. They subconsciously feel, that they can ‘let go’ of accumulated stresses etc. without those energies potentially floating about, and either re-attaching, or attaching to the therapist. As such many clients of mine tell me they feel ‘lighter’ after their treatment! (N.B.: one obviously does not have to receive a tantric massage to get energy healing effects. If one is e.g. a committed relationship, or has other reasons to not want to visit a tantric masseur, one could go for a e.g. Reiki session instead.). Energy flow does usually improve through physical massage alone already – i.e. there is better energy flow when we are relaxed. (Even less sensitive guys will likely admit that it is easier for them to be/ feel happy, when they are not e.g. stressed/ tense.) But I do believe that such effects get amplified by including energy work on top of massage…
As for the prostate massage, I have read that supposedly the prostate is a reservoir for emotions. I.e. to help release negative emotions (stresses etc.) it is beneficial to massage the prostate. I cannot say that it feels to me as if there is marked emotional release when I massage client’s prostates, or indeed have my own massaged. There does seem to be connection to all the chakras though. It feels much more to me as if massaging the prostate can trigger stronger Kundalini flow, which too can have healing effects, improve chakra function, etc..
Tantric Orgasm (TO) – can everyone have a TO?
There is talk about TOs being non-ejaculative/ dry, whole-body orgasms, and potentially multiple (http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14681994.2011.647903).
Supposedly with dry orgasms one does not ejaculate, but rather 'saves' the sexual energy from just 'dissipating' through ejaculation. Sperm is said to literally be transformed into qui. Supposedly the energy then wanders up the spine, and unites with the divine/ cosmos above the Crown Chakra. This supposedly can trigger utter bliss and feeling united with creation.
Whole-body orgasms make a bit more sense to me. With tantric work, or tantric massage, the intention is to spread out sexual energy throughout the body. As such the whole body is (more) filled with sexual energy when it come to climax, and orgasms are said to be more intense, and felt in the ‘whole-body’, rather than mainly be concentrated on the genitals.
Supposedly with all that sexual energy throughout the body, and not depleting ones energies by ejaculating, advanced tantrics can then cum more than ones – have multiple orgasms.
Personally I am somewhat skeptical about what one gets promised about TOs. I can only refer to my own experience here. I tried dry orgasms for a few months, many years ago - I did manage to stifle any ejaculate and was busy channeling all the orgasmic energy up my spine, but to be honest, the only thing I experienced, was something like badly frustrated orgasms. No unity, no bliss! Worst of all I started to feel guilty for just thinking of ejaculating. I felt as if I would be sinning, because I would be wasting energy by depleting my male energies.
Luckily (in my interpretation) I got over this, and instead started to cherish my ejaculative orgasms more, started exploring them more. To me Life is about happiness and enjoying its gifts - including the bodies we have, and the pleasures they can provide. As with possibly many of you - I had my first orgasms in my teens, clandestinely under a blanket, with siblings sleeping in the next bed. In my mind once I had ejaculated that was it, and I'd see that my physiology, e.g. breathing, would go back to normal as soon as possible. I must admit that for quite some time I carried on like this, and mostly met guys that seem to operate the same way too. Once one ejaculates, one looks for a towel and that is it.
Sensing that there was something else and bigger out there to be had from orgasms, I started to develop the confidence to just keep going a bit longer and longer. I found myself breathing deeply for longer periods and now also experience more and more extensive whole body quivers, quite some time after I have ejaculated. Mind you I do still at times get some strange looks and have guys getting concerned, asking if I am alright, because of it. I just know it feels good and right (to me). This might be tantric whole body orgasms, but I cannot say for sure. I have not personally met anyone yet, who told me they achieve multiple orgasms, or even fulfilling dry ones, for that matter; even though my clientele could be said to be more interested in tantric techniques than the average Joe. Some have been to special courses. etc. I managed to cum three times within 10minutes, without loss of erection, with one (ex)boyfriend ones, but I put that down to mainly very intense initial physical attraction, and it could not be replicated once day-to-day life kicked in. I'd say the important thing is to enjoy ones orgasms as they are, and be open for them to become even more fabulous. Maybe one day I will have multiple orgasms regularly, but till then I am very happy with the ones I have already....
Many of my clients who do cum, seem to experience particularly strong orgasms - if that is because of my 'Touch' and the spirit of Tantra - or simply because they will just have had up to 2 hour foreplay (at least I could never get any of my exs to give me that ) and, if included in the massage, an extra physiological stimulus through prostate massage - I don't know? I suspect it is a mix of all the above...
As such I believe that any erotic play, that is conducted trying to be intimate, feel one another, attend to one another needs, heighten one’s arousal, and ultimately not limit ones orgasm by any expectations - is tantric, whether one labels it as such or not. (Well, with tantric massage, that is more one-sided, but you get my gist.)
So, if you ask me ‘To cum, or not to cum?’ – I personally prefer cumming, and I rarely get clients who ask me to not take them all the way to ejaculation. For me it is an intuitive thing, but I guess there is above mentioned science to potentially consider as well (which supports the regular release of seminal prostate fluid, and semen).
I have gotten into some quite passionate arguments about this with some hard core tantrics though. Some tantric followers do very strongly believe that ejaculation will lead to depletion of one’s energy reserves. Semen will not be converted into qui. Men will age faster for it, and it might impede ones path towards enlightenment. I am not saying that if you have a partner, who is willing and happy to experiment with tantric techniques, including non-ejaculation, to not do it. I believe there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in Tantra. If you get pleasure or other positive effects from it – great. I see this more suitable for a more committed relationship set up though. At least most of my tantric massage clients just want to de-stress, have a good whole body massage, be taken out of their heads for a while, enjoy the feeling of freedom that goes hand in hand with naturist massage, and finish with a pleasurable and satisfactory climax. – I would also argue, that if one worries about depleting ones protein reserves through ejaculation – for one our diets nowadays are fortunately usually rich enough to replace any protein lost quickly. Heck, we lose protein through shedding skin cells continuously too, as well as through sweat etc – and no one tells you to try and prevent that either. Men might loose zinc through ejaculation, but that is easily replaced too by good diet, and or chelated zinc capsules. Another argument of hardcore tantrics is, that they claim most men are tired after climaxing (which seems to proof their point that they lose chi through ejaculating). I not get tired myself, and usually my clients do have no problem getting up, off the couch, shortly after climaxing either. Most even report they feel invigorated, besides feeling great. – I have this theory that perhaps such hardcore tantrics do not connect to greater sources of energy before their sexual practices? As a learned healer I do though, for myself and my clients. I e.g. ground my clients at the beginning and end of each session. I.e. I connect them to healthy Earth energies, or some might call it Earth qui. There is a lot of healthy, nourishing qui below our feet, easily connected to, and tapped. Any qui potentially lost through ejaculating a few milliliters of seminal fluid, is easily replaced, by just doing grounding exercises.
Summary - Tantric massage has benefits that go beyond regular, non-erotic massage, and potentially even beyond ‘just’ erotic massage. Besides relaxing, de-stressing, the comfort of human touch, Tantric Massage can be seen as (sexual) health promoting, plus it works with sexual energy, spreads it out through the massagee’s being, and can potentially help heal and invigorate. But let’s not forget, it can be a very pleasurable experience/ therapy as well!
Disclaimer – none of the above is meant to replace any medical treatment or advise you receive. I hope that the above helps you, but always check with your health care practitioner before potentially discontinuing any treatment and or medication.
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For bookings with me and in London, UK, either call me (Tom) on +44 7939 425 504, or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org